Well, we haven't been alone as husband and wife for very many days. Granted, I've been gone quite a bit this summer, but........I really thought it'd be more than 10 days that we'd blow up at each other.
I don't know how to be a wife. I've been a mom for half my life. That's 26 years. I was only a wife for 5. And I started when I was 21. Too young.
Tonight he said to me...........at the end of the school year, do what I want. Leave if I want.
I wonder what I will do.
Scares me that I even just typed that.
The two of us are so very different. Yes, we have the same love for the water. The same love for competition.
I'm not saying same love for family. Because............. I don't feel he puts his family first. Never has. Our boys were always 2nd.
Yesterday, when he finally came home, I had the young one on Skype........ told him he should come in and talk to him. The first thing he said was NOT, "how are you doing, how is school, are you happy......"
It was, "Are you still in college?" "Did you flunk out yet?" Young one didn't know how to answer that. He finally just said, "yes."
Not much else was said between them. It made me sad. He doesn't hug the boys. He shakes their hand.
I hope my boys don't do that with their children. Children need touch. They need love.
I wonder what I will do.
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