Is it a duck? And do I need balls?

 So, the saying is........... if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and whatever likes a duck......then it's a duck.

I keep thinking this.

He totally lied to me tonight.

So, when I KNOW he is going to help her move things......tomorrow, using our Explorer that we never use....... and he tells me.......I'm using it tomorrow to move some things from work to be shipped............ WTF am I supposed to say?  

Yes, I should have called him on it.  I will.  I have no balls.

I finally gave a hint to someone about what is going on.  He's a friend to both of us. He likes both of us.  I told him I don't want to put him in the middle,  but he sent me a text just at the moment I was about to fall apart. 

I need balls.  To stand up for myself.  I wish I knew other women who were/are in my position.  I was a stay at home mom for 20 years.  I drove the boys everywhere. I took care of the house.  The groceries, the meals.

Was I an angel?  NO.  My relationship I had outside of our marriage was all "verbal".  He made me feel good about myself.  Soon after, he was banned from our 'group'.  I won't say what group just because.  If you know me, message me on fb and I'll tell you.

I can't write anymore.  I need to tell my story.  But I don't think ...... at the moment....... I can retell what I went through when I actually figured out he was "in love with someone else".

You know, life really sucks right now.

If you're reading this and aren't totally turned off by my ............. by me and my self pity... then ............ please tell me your story.  I need help.

Obviously.